Is It Good to Use Sunscreen for Pregnant Women

Protecting yourself from the sun’s light and harmful rays is especially important during the pregnancy time, when you skin tends to be more sensitive that the usual skin. Actually, the finest form of the sunscreen protection is the prevention and stay inside your home or some safe place between 10 AM to 2PM. When the sun is at its strongest and when you are outside area be sure that you take necessary precautions including applying the sunscreen lotions and creams on your skin and body area. Look for the broad spectrum sunscreen that offers a protection against the UVB and UVA rays so make sure that they also provide the sun protection factor ideally of 360 or of higher.

The sunscreen products which has active ingredients like titanium dioxide and/or zinc oxide also called as the physical or mineral sunscreens are found to be pregnancy sunscreen choices for the pregnant women as they are hypoallergenic and sits on your skin. So while buying the pregnancy sunscreen just check whether the product is labeled as water resistant because the sunscreen will not be absorbed or rubbed away in water. It is very important to remember the ingredients of the sunscreen products in which it is made up of and if you unsure about it then just avoid the sunscreen product for safe during your pregnancy time period. Also don’t use the sunscreen products that are made with the insect repellent, where it is less effective and when you are in the need of a repellent then just buy it separately and just apply it after putting the sunscreen.

Is It Good to Use Sunscreen for Pregnant Women

Why using the sunscreen very important during pregnancy?

The usage of the sunscreen during pregnancy not only will protect you from the skin cancer but the sunscreen will also shield your skin from the discoloration and other kinds of pregnancy related condition that exacerbated the sun exposure. When you are pregnant your skin tends to become more sensitive than ever before so there is chance of getting the hyper pigmentation (patches, lines, blotches and dots) and melasma where these can vary in color from reddish purple brown, gravy or blue are more of a possibility can become more pronounced when you are exposed to the sun. While pregnancy can requires the extra precautions when it comes to the sun exposure where this does not mean that you cannot spend any time in outdoors.

All the women will enjoy going in the sun with the natural ingredients in fact for getting the vitamin D dose from the sun. Where this vitamin D is essential one for the pregnant women and that helps your growing baby, since the baby receives all of its vitamin D directly from its mother. Getting the sunlight increases the proper immune function and absorption of phosphorus and calcium which is not a bad thing.

But however it is recommended not to be at sun exposure for longer period of time where it adversely affects your baby’s health and well being. So in order to get the result and protective shield from sunrays it is advised to use the best pregnancy sunscreen for protecting you from the harmful sunrays. While wearing the protective sunscreen clothing and avoiding the over exposure to the sun will certainly help the sunscreen to remain longer period of time.

Sun safety tips for the pregnant women

If you are planning to be outdoor or outside for longer period of time in sun during your pregnancy then just you need to protect your body from sun just by taking the following steps.

  • Try to stay inside your house or some other place during the peak sun hours from 10AM to 2PM as much as possible.
  • Just try to stay in the shaded area whenever possible you are in outside especially when the sun is very hot.
  • At this time just apply the sunscreen at least 15 minutes in your body before you go outside and also reapply the sunscreen every two hours.
  • Use the sunscreen about 1 ounce and thoroughly spread over all the exposed skin to protect your body from sun.
  • Try to cover your skin as much as possible just by choosing the light clothing in cotton or with another breathable fabric preferably in the tight weave.
  • Don’t forget to wear wide sunglasses and brimmed hat, ideally ones that block the 99% of both UVB and UVA rays.

Remember that you can definitely don’t have to stay inside your home or shaded area just because you are pregnant, hence you need to protect your body and for getting affected from the sunrays.

Importance of using sunscreen by pregnant women

Is your bottle of sunscreen is hidden in the back of the closet, jumbled among the towels and swimsuits only to be unearthed for the beach days. If so then it is time to bring it out into the light. The sunscreen is an effective protective agent against the damage from the sun’s harmful rays for all age group people, skin types and genders. Regular use of the sunscreen lotions lessens the chance of developing the skin cancer in the adulthood in which when you use the best pregnancy sunscreen then it is even more powerful one when combined with the other methods of the sun protection.

The sunscreen keeps the skin of the pregnancy women healthier in other ways as well where it also protects your sensitive skin against the sunburn in turn it also reduces the appearance of the dark spots, leathery skin, wrinkles, sagging or discolorations. These sunscreen protections help your skin to maintain more skin tone in overall body just by increasing your tone of your skin. There are number of sunscreen protective brands are available in the market in which you need to consider the ingredients in which these sunscreen is made from for getting the best result. So always buy best pregnancy sunscreen for getting the best outcome and for protecting your body skin from damage of the sun rays.

How to Apply Moisturizer?

Are you attempting to keep your face healthy and beautiful? Do not trouble about your skin issues, because face moisturizers are available all over the world and they are a useful product for hydrating your skin.

Both males and females are attempting facial care and they are utilizing moisturizers for holding wetness in their skin. The primary function of these special kinds of moisturizers is that they remove your dryness from your skin, because some are not matched for some people’s skin health and clothes is another element for producing dryness in your skin.

How to Apply Moisturizer

What to know before using them

You have to know the different actions of using these creams before the use of these. The primary step remains in the choice and you need to pick the best face moisturizers before using the cream. You can see a range of creams in drug shops and these different moisturizers are useful for different conditions. You have to inspect your body conditions, because some people’s skin is not comfy for the use of some particular moisturizers. Click here to read more  moisturizer.

The majority of people are attempting to use these face moisturizers on their dry skin which contain extreme chemicals and this kind of item is bad for your face or your health.

Some type of moisturizers have many extra benefits and among them is solar protection. Make certain to try to find special components as this substance will truly provide you the very best possible results for your general skin health.

Using moisturizer varies from texture to texture along with according to the age of the specific individual.

Here are some standards to use moisturizer according to your skin type:

– For Regular Type

It implies people who have neither oily nor dry skin. Maintenance of this kind of balance is needed; an individual with a regular texture need to use a water-based moisturizer which has non-greasy or light quantity of dampening contents. In this kind of moisturizers, light-weight oils or silicon present is Cyclomethicone.

– For Oily Type

This type is vulnerable to acne and breakouts. Skin is oily however it still needs moisturizer of light-weight moistening specifically after utilizing the acne avoidance items as most of time these items avoid oils however also make the skin dry. Non-comedogenic identified items or water based items need to be used.

– For Dry Type

Dry skin needs wetness; this texture needs heavy oil based moisturizers which assist in the hydration of skin. Petroleum-based items are encouraged for broken and dry skin. It is more effective for avoiding water in pores.

– For Delicate Type

Delicate skin dislikes inflammations, rashes, inflammation and itching. Individuals with this type ought to use moisturizer which is calming and includes components such as aloe or chamomile. Ensure the moisturizer you are utilizing ought to not include any color or scents. People with this skin type need to prevent the item including acids which can aggravate the skin.

– For Fully grown Type

Due to growing age oil producing glands end up being non-active and the skin tends to end up being dry. The moisturizer including petrolatum as the base must be used as it assists in softening of skin and also assists keep water in the pores. The skin care items consisting of alpha hydroxy acids and anti-oxidants need to be used to conquer the wrinkles and drooping of skin. These key active ingredients will assist in holding wetness and will also avoid flaky and flaky skin.

Select the very best moisturiser depending upon your skin type. If you have oily skin, use oil-free and water-based item. If you have dry skin, pick a thicker, oil-based moisturizer. A combination skin will be best managed by a light, hydrating formula used two times a day. A delicate skin needs a fragrance-free hypoallergenic moisturizer.

Advantages of utilizing moisturizer in winter seasons

In winter seasons skin ends up being dry, scratchy, dehydrated and inflamed. To make it hydrated and radiant once again, one needs to use wetness in addition to the nutritional virtues of heavy oils. Apply winter moisturizer during the night on face, hands and legs. The skin will soak up the dampening cream much better in the evening and in the early morning you will feel fresh and renewed after you get up.

Application of moisturizer should appertain. Natural moisturizers need to be chosen to the pricey brands. If you are discovering any kind of skin issues after utilizing moisturizer, then consult your skin specialist. He will direct you in hydrating your skin according to the complexion.


Utilizing the very best moisturiser can assist avoid drying of the skin specifically throughout severe climate condition like summertime or winter. When including wetness to dehydrated skin, it is much better to use the very best facial moisturizer or a dry skin cream that is abundant and will nurture the skin. Always check out the label of your skin care item and ensure that it does not include mineral oils. Mineral oils are bad for the skin because it can trigger the skin to be less flexible and ultimately triggering wrinkles.

Groom Your Beard This Way to Look Its Best

Grooming your beard is the first step to looking like the man you want to be. Your not trying to look like the men who are not doing anything worth noting in life. The men who sit in the mud and let it dirty them and decide their fate. No, you are an over achiever and a dreamer. A man who wants his beard to represent the same statement. Today, is the time for you to do it with all the technologies and creams. Use the best moisturizer for beard and other beard products to make your beard look like you been trying to be successful for a long time. Strengthen the length of your beard and increase its beard development.

Always Have the Right Tools to Groom


The right set of tools can make all the difference when its time to shape up your beard. I am not talking about a comb and some hotel soap. God no and don’t even try. I mean having a grooming kit in your bathroom for your beard. There are some for sale at the stores. They come with everything you need to shape your beard for the first 3 months. Most, come with a brush, beard brush, ointment, and beard shampoo. It’s not much to start with when you shaping your beard, but it’s enough to get your beard shaped up for the coming months. Each piece is more vital than you think. The beard shampoo hydrates your beard with the right amount of water and growth minerals. Probably the best moisturizer for beard you can have. Comb evens the beard out and gives you a back up comb. The other items are back up washes and essentials you might need for beard. Altogether, get the groom kit and your all set to groom the beard.

On the contrary, if you don’t want to buy a groom kit, then I suggest you get beard supplies separately. Beauty shops and local stores have a cluster of beard grooming items that can help beard take care of itself. They got the combs, beard shampoo, ointments, beard balms, and whatever else you think you might need for your beard. When it comes to quality, your going to have to head into those beauty shops. I know you don’t want to do it and I don’t blame you. But, beauty shops have the highest quality of hair products. Your not going to get high quality hair products at a low end store. I tried it one too many times. Spend the extra money if you want beard to look better than average.

 Stay in Good Health

Health is a good way to make your beard grow longer. The healthier your body is the healthier your facial hair is. Which means, you need to eat the right food to give your body the right amount of good and bad chemicals coming in. Additionally, exercise at the park and work those legs out. Allow your body to sweat off all toxic chemicals lying in your body. There are things in your body that needs to be sweated off. I know you don’t feel like exercising. You know I don’t either. But, I still make an effort to walk on the bridge to get my body health up. Another thing you can do is eat multivitamins. There is no way in world your going to be able to consume all the vitamins you need in one week. Consume multi-vitamins for beards to get all the vitamins your body needs. Absorb vitamin A, D, and more to make beard grow longer.

 Wash Facial Hair Each day

Wash your facial hair regularly. I don’t care if its 3:00 am and you couldn’t do it this morning. Do you want your beard to look like dead animals? I suggest you wash your beard with a good moisture like beard shampoo day to day. Help your face get the right amount of vitamins and water. Without these things, your beard will be less tempting to grow and become scraggly. Back to the missing spots and wishing you would shave it off scenario. Avoid, by washing your face daily with beard shampoo.

Beware of Dandruff Because It Causes Hair Loss

Dandruff is something we all need to talk about at least once in life. It causes us to itch and scratch for random reasons. Turns our hair into a yellow or white mess. Takes pieces of our hair out if we scratch too much. Convince some people that we don’t wash our hair. A nightmare none the less, dandruff is something you need to get rid of. Luckily, there is hygiene technology that can make it go away. Using the best herbal shampoo for hair loss and dandruff is one way. You want to know more? Look below to see my other ways.

Use Medicated Shampoo

When you have dandruff, you can’t just rely on regular shampoo. No, that is not the way. You must rely on medicated shampoo. Try buying the best herbal shampoo for hair loss and dandruff if you can. Medicated shampoo washes your hair and scalp more thoroughly. Going in deep and removing all dirt from it. This is not going to happen over night. A person should use this type of shampoo for weeks. Keep using it until the dandruff in your head is all the way gone. Afterwards, the dandruff should be gone for good. Although, it can come back and when it does use the medicated shampoo again. There is no such thing as perfect but you can even the odds.

Avoid Irritating Hair Products

Certain hair products cause your skin to irritate. Hair dye, bleach, detergents, and artificial fragrances tend to make your hair more itchy. This makes the no scratching hair for too long rule hard to follow. You get? Not everyone notices the reactions from these products. It takes longer for some to feel them. Change your routine if you use these products to wash your hair. The dandruff will only get worse if you continue to use them.

Manage Your Day to Day Stress

Probably never heard this, reduce stress to make your dandruff go away. Stress is sneaky because it causes things you don’t realize easily. One thing it causes is a weaker immune system. You need your stress to be managed daily. Do things to make it less of a problem. Try not to think of certain things. Try not to smoke in early hours of the day to make you less paranoid about your surroundings. Avoid people who cause you more emotional pain then needed. In time, your immune system will go up and you will have less dandruff.

Stress is also a problem in deciding how to take care of your hair. When you are stressed, you tend to make the wrong decisions. Try to but things when your mind is clear and stress free. Then, you will be able to buy the products you really need and not feel guilty about it.

Make the Dry Skin Under Your Beard Go Away By Moisturizing

To be completely honest, no one wants dry skin under their beard. Its a real drag. People will not notice it from afar. But, when they get really close to the face, they will be able to see everything that you don’t want them to see. They will see the flakes, red marks, and scratchy things that make you look a little like a bum. To avoid, use the best moisturizer for beard from the closest store. Getting rid of that thing is a real deal. You should take care of it you know. Learn more about this below.

Why Do I Have Dry Skin Under Beard

When you go to sleep, the face gets moisture stuck in the beard. Normally, the beard absorbs sleep moisture. Under certain circumstances such as stress, the beard tends to absorb too much moisture and it get stuck as a result. Meaning, the flakes on your beard appear that can cause irritations. You got to make sure you stay away from things that stress you out. Go for a walk sometimes. Listen to a different genre of music. Do things that give you a measure of peace to make that beard less of a flaky issue.

If you are unable to do this because of the circumstances, you can use the best moisturizer for beard or regular moisturizer to wash up under your chin. We understand you can’t get rid of stress because of the life your dealing with now. Whatever you got to deal with, you got to make the best of it and try to do better with it.

The Sun is another reason you might have dry skin under your beard. Sun rays tend to burn your face which will cause the face to become flaky. Avoid spending long times in the hot Sun to have a cleaner face naturally. Spend more time in the shade when you head outside. Hide in the shadows and avoid big open areas for hours. Do this, you should have a cleaner beard and a less itchy one.

How Do I Moisturize Dry Skin Under Beard

Washing your beard is simple. Put in some beard oil and water. That should be enough to wash your beard fully. You can use regular soap to wash your beard. But, I have to warn you about doing that. It causes you to not be able to wash the skin under the beard hair. The beard hair tends to soak up the soap and water before it hits the skin. The skin might be irritated and flaky.

Using beard oil will help your beard hair get smoother. The hair strands will get smoother and stronger. Every time you shave or trim, the hair will align with the razor. More so, when you just use the shaving cream to do it. The razor will cut through the hair with a quicker pace. Can’t go wrong with beard oil.


Story 1

Once upon a time 4 cars were driving along when suddenly they ran out of fuel. They all ran out of fuel at once, so their engines whent “Put put put put thrrrrrrrp”.

“Oh no, what will we do?” said the cars to each other. Then along came a satellite which squirted fuel into the cars, refilling their tanks. They drove on happily.

Story 2

Once upon a time 4 cars were driving along when suddenly all their tyres popped. Yes all popped. At once. (?) They also all flipped over for reasons I don’t understand. As they flipped they said “AAAAAAAAH!” in a high-pitched voice.

“Oh no, what will we do?” said the cars to each other. Then along came a satellite, which had a tractor beam on it to help flip the cars back over. WHUM WHUM WHUM went the tractor beam as it picked up the cars one by one and fixed their tires somehow. They drove on happily.

Story 3

Once upon a time 4. No wait, 5 cars (we found the blue one) were driving along when they fell into the water, probably due to gross driver error. “AAAAAARGH SPLASH!” they went as they fell down the steep cliff into the depths below.

“BLUB BBLBLBLB BLRRRR?” said the cars to each other (which is “Oh no, what will we do?” underwater). Then along came a satellite, which had a tractor beam on it. WHUM WHUM WHUM went the tractor beam, and it lifted the cars out of the water one by one and put them back on the road.

Story 4

Once upon a time 5 cars somehow had all their wheels fall off at once.

Satellite. Tractor boom.

Story 5

Once upon a time 5 cars got stuck in the mud. No wait, it was 3 kinds of mind. What? Brown and Green and Blue mud? What does that even mean? Does this happen all at the same time or is it going to be 3 stories in a row?


Right I’m pulling the plug. No I won’t use the satellite tractor beam to pull the plug.

Come on.

Get out of the bath.

Occasionally my son has particular narrative obsessions. I always feel proud of them because somehow I introduce him to them. I first introduce the plot device of the satellite with a tractor beam to him. It’s been a recurring motif in our stories in the bath for the past couple of weeks. Needles to say I am over it.

The basic pattern is:

Improvise new interesting twist to a story.
Bring joy to your child that makes you feel like you are an amazing parent.
Repeat the next day
Repeat the day after that
Repeat twice the day after the day after that
Repeat at least every 4 hours from that point on.
Repeat 2-3 times in a row.
Repeat without stopping.
Stop suddenly. Until you….
Improvise new and interesting twist to a story
Repeat the whole cycle.

The worst thing about it is that it’s happened before….

Actually the worst thing about it is that I know (for a fact) it will happen again.

The best thing about it is that I know I’m not the only one.

Imagination: The dark side.


“There’s a tapping at the window daddy!”

The ambience is not what you’d expect for that kind of a sentence from a 3 year old. We’re not alone in a dark room at night. The wind isn’t howling and there is no trace of thunder. In fact the weather is fine and calm, it’s daylight and the sun is pouring in through the back door. It is clear that there’s nothing there, but my son wants to hide. And in order to do hiding right, you have to have something to hide from. Right?

“Ahhhh! It’s a SPOOKY!!!! Quick hide daddy!”.

So we hide under a scrap of cloth that’s about the size of a gym towel. Then my son runs off to grab something more substantial and we hide under a throw. It lasts as long as it takes for him to get bored or forget what we were doing. I have no idea how long that is. Not long enough for it to get too tedious, but not so short that it escaped my notice.


A scream in the night.

Not a call. Not a declamation. Not a summons. Not a whisper. Just a scream. He is screaming. Again.

My eyes snap open, but my awareness lags a few seconds behind. I stir. I rise. I sigh as I swing my legs around and get them to the ground. I walk my way from our room to his to see what, if anything, he needs.

By the time I get there the outburst has stopped. It’s usually one or two cries out for me,  and then just a whimpering. I go to him. I sit on his bedside and place a hand on him. His head, his hand or his chest. “It’s alright Lad, daddy’s right here” I say calmly, masking my own concern that this is happening most nights at the moment. I check for the usual issues, water, discomfort or a need to go to the toilet. I get no answer. I sit a while. And return to bed.

Some nights his eyes aren’t even open. Some nights he settles. Some nights it happens again, and he ends up in bed with us, clutching on to me as I clutch him, his head resting on my armpit.

I don’t know why my son is scared sometimes. I don’t think he could tell me if I asked. It could be beyond words, it  could be beyond his words and it could be a concept from beyond his vocabulary. Nonetheless, he is scared.


Fear can be fun. I remember my first experience of abseiling, it was exhilarating. Every sense was on a higher exposure; more intense and sharper. The air tasted stronger, my eyes saw brighter colours, I could hear my heart pounding and some how even the rock I pressed my feet against felt more real. It was like the world was in HD, but not just visually – every sense was on some kind of increased resolution.

When I reached the bottom I was shaking, my feet had to re-adjust to the mundane, my senses had to recover from their heightened state and my mind continued to race. I’ve felt that feeling a few times in my life while high up on rocks, when walking out on stage or – some days – even when hitting “publish” on a blog post. I’ve written about my experience with fear before.

But, what about his fear? His brain sparking, growing and changing at a rate that makes  the grey matter between my ears look sluggish and obsolete. His imagination that is more visceral, more vivid and more intense than anything I can remember. His fear, which cannot distinguish between the real world and his own world. Which cannot differentiate between the power and paralysis. His fear which, in the dark when he is alone, clutches at him, icy fingers squeezing him tighter and tighter as he realises how small he is.

How do you deal with that? I honestly don’t know what to do.

I know what I don’t want to do.

I don’t want to dismiss it. I don’t want to tell him that he needs to “be brave” or that he’s scared over nothing. I don’t want him to feel bad for feeling fear, and I don’t want him to stifle it in my presence. I don’t want him to feel afraid of being afraid. We all feel fear sometimes.

I don’t want to feed his fear. I don’t want to make it worse or remind him of the things that make him scared. I don’t want to make the monsters bigger and bolder. I don’t want to stop playing monsters with him. I don’t want him to forget those times fear gets the heart pumping and that makes the hairs stand on end. I don’t want the fear to go away. I don’t want it to cripple him. I don’t want to ignore it, think it’s a phase and find out too late that there is an issue – much as I’m sure there isn’t at this stage. I don’t want him to lose that wonderful bubbling cauldron of imagination in his head. Sure he’d be less frightened, but he’d also be less in so many other ways. I don’t want to try to explain everything away.

What I do want to do is be there. Hold him, cuddle him, whisper to him that it’s okay. It’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to need mummy or daddy just because you’re scared. I want him to feel that everything will be alright. I want him to know we are there.

I want to know that’s enough.

But you can’t have everything.

The question…. advice for a new dad

Today I visited friends who had just had a baby. I was given the customary hold. I also had The Lass to hold on to and keep calm. The Lad was being handled by my mum, so only having the 9 week old to worry about felt like I was on holiday.

The new dad, who was either fantastically Zen and serene or completely exhausted and emotionally drained turned to me and asked the question.

“So, any advice for a new dad?”

There they were. I had seen them coming around the corner. High beams. Right in my eyes. Holding me transfixed and gibbering. Given I blog about fatherhood this shouldn’t have had quite such a profound effect on me, but it did. Shooting off rambles into cyberspace is one thing, responding to a query from a new dad who’s eyes were thirsting for wisdom is entirely different.

So I sputtered out some inane crap. I thought I’d write a post about it so I was better equipped to deal with it next time because, as The Mamanator pointed out, I am the father of 2 children including a 2 year old. Therefore I hold the mantle of assumed expert in the dark ringed eyes of a new dad.

What I am posting is about stuff that surprised me. I had read some books, looked over hospital information and attended birth classes. I thought I had equipped myself with lots of information and was well forewarned and forearmed for fatherhood. And for the most part, I was. But I was not ready for everything…

So here’s the advice I would have given….

All children are different, when someone tells you some super tactic that is a sure fire way to get them to sleep, stop crying or whatever, take it with a grain of salt. I made that discovery for myself when we had number two. This limits the usefulness of any advice you will get.

Fatherhood doesn’t stop. Ever. I mean of course it doesn’t. That just makes sense, right? Yeah. The implications of that hit you later when you have been doing it for a while. Seriously it never stops. Even when you’re at work. Even if you’re away from your family for some reason. Even if you have a baby sitter or a grandparent looking after them. Even when they’re forty. It. Never. Stops.

You will at some stage bump your baby’s head into something.
The car door, a table, a railing, a wall or a door frame will sneak up on you. You will probably want to curl up into a ball, rock back and forth and cry. But you’ll be fine.

You will get something wrong and become totally averse to doing that task for a while. For me it was two things, fingernails and baths. I cut my boys thumb once when I was cutting his nails. Took me weeks to have another go at it, and baby nails grow back really really fast. First time I tried to bathe him when he was little I was so nervous I didn’t hold him right and he cried and cried. So I red carded myself in that activity for a while too….

Never take a nappy away before you have another nappy in place. NEVER EVER.

If your missus is feeding the baby, grab her a glass of water before she asks. Earns many brownie points. Also, breastfeeding women eat a great deal, be ready for it.

Finally, you may feel like little more than a couch or a bed for your baby in the first few weeks. Maybe you’ll be a swingy thing too. Don’t worry if its feels boring sometimes. But be the best damn couch you can be. It changes quickly anyway…

So that’s my little list. Use it new fathers! May it bring you solace in the times ahead.

Anything you would add to the list? What surprised you about the experience?

Keeping it cool

Toddlers. They’ve been compared to lots of things: drunken friends, old people, pets and plenty more. They have little to know control of their impulses, are generally clumsy, have a great deal of problem concentrating and don’t always hear/listen to you when you give them simple requests. It can make life frustrating. I thought I’d share some of the things I do to try and keep my cool with The Lad through the days I’m in charge of him. At least I can share some stories with the rest of you that might show you that we all have our moments.

First off:

I have yelled at my son. My reasons are many and varied: he’s about to touch the hot oven, he’s about to eat something he really shouldn’t be putting in his mouth, his rough and tumble play has hit me in me bits or he’s bout to throw a shoe in the general direction of his sister (he actually did this the other day). Sometimes it’s just out of exasperation. Having finally cleaned down the high chair, or having finally settled/changed the baby I find The Lad trying to build sand castles out of cat litter in the bathroom. So, I yell. I don’t do it often, I don’t do it too loudly and I never mean to, but I do. Feels good to get that off my chest.

Second off:

I am many many miles from perfect. I often ignore my own advice. It’s also worth noting that whatever The Lad’s gotten his hands on or gotten himself into it takes a special kind of adult to leave it out for him to pick up and/or throw around. That special adult is usually me…. I wish I was more organised and less absent-minded sometimes, but I am not. My sleep is usually interrupted, this might have something to do with it….

So, when it all goes down how does The Dadinator cope? Sometimes he doesn’t, but he tries his best. Sometimes he starts to talk about himself in the third person. And then he stops. Here are some of what I do and why I do it:

1.) The problem is the behaviour not the child

This comes from some of the stuff I learned while doing teaching. Saying “You’re bad” or “You’re naughty” is useless, instead focus on the behaviour not the child, and tell them what you want them to do. In a situation with a toddler they won’t necessarily understand you, but that’s not their fault. The behaviour is probably not their fault, they don’t know their head from their bums most of the time.

Sure I get sick of saying “Food is for eating, not throwing”. I get sick of saying “We don’t throw shoes”. I get sick of saying “Give me that now thank you!”. But I do it. I try to be persistent and persevere, and we get there. Well I think we do.

2.) Keep your cool

I confessed that I have yelled at The Lad over the years. It never feels good, and it never achieves anything much. In fact, when you yell at a kid, you just stress them out. Interesting when you go into a ‘stress response’ in your brain, the hippocampus (short term memory centre) shuts down. That stops the kid remembering much of what happens, and it certainly stops them from learning anything out of the situation. It’s best avoided. Although we all slip up. Kid’s also learn from the example you set more than from the words you say, so keep that in mind.

3.) Don’t talk at a child that isn’t even looking at you.

I’ve caught myself doing this. I realised that if I say “Put that down” and The Lad isn’t even looking at me. Funnily enough he doesn’t do what I ask. Take a second to get the kids attention before you tell them to do something. It saves you time and effort, plus it also ensures your message actually gets through.

4.) Get the child to help fix the situation

The Mamanator is much better at this than me… If a child throws something on the ground, get them to pick it up. If they spill water, get them to help mop it up. I sometimes just want to shortcut this process and do it myself. Even at my level of domestic ineptitude I can clean up a spilled puddle of water, or gather up sultanas faster than The Lad can at the tender age of 2. I am working on it though, and The Lad frequently impresses me with his ability to help. Sure things take a little longer, but It’s worth the wait.

5.) Don’t hold a grudge

Kids will make mistakes, test boundaries and form annoying habits. It’s their nature. It isn’t personal, don’t take it as such. Do your utmost to move on. I guarantee the little one will do so very very fast.

6.) Catch your breath

We’re trying to encourage The Lad to breath deeply when he’s worked up. We do this by holding him close and taking deep breaths, he picks up the rhythm and joins in. Sometimes I need to take some deep breaths myself before going in to talk to him about how his food doesn’t go on the floor. It is one of the most basic ways of lowering your heart rate and calming yourself down. So take the chance to do so, it does make a difference.

So, I hope there’s some help in there, as I mentioned I don’t always follow my own advice, but I do my best. I’m sure you all do to.

A birthday poem.

The Mamanator is 30 today. So I wrote her a sonnet. Its not very good, but here it is.

Today The Mamanator turns thirty
She finds herself with two kids and a bloke,
The kids keep finding ways to get dirty
While his handymanning skills are a joke

She puts up with me and my many quirks
She cares for me and makes me laugh and smile
She’s seen me at my best and at my worst
And yet manages to love me all the while

Your belly grew a little girl and boy.
You gave them life and gave me fatherhood,
Bringing us both great struggles and great joy
And making sure we sleep less than we should.

So happy birthday to my friend and wife.
Mother, lover and partner in my life.