Dadinating the Country Side

The Trials and Tribulations of Living the Dream

Author: dadinating (page 1 of 2)

Beware of Dandruff Because It Causes Hair Loss

Dandruff is something we all need to talk about at least once in life. It causes us to itch and scratch for random reasons. Turns our hair into a yellow or white mess. Takes pieces of our hair out if we scratch too much. Convince some people that we don’t wash our hair. A nightmare none the less, dandruff is something you need to get rid of. Luckily, there is hygiene technology that can make it go away. Using the best herbal shampoo for hair loss and dandruff is one way. You want to know more? Look below to see my other ways.

Use Medicated Shampoo

When you have dandruff, you can’t just rely on regular shampoo. No, that is not the way. You must rely on medicated shampoo. Try buying the best herbal shampoo for hair loss and dandruff if you can. Medicated shampoo washes your hair and scalp more thoroughly. Going in deep and removing all dirt from it. This is not going to happen over night. A person should use this type of shampoo for weeks. Keep using it until the dandruff in your head is all the way gone. Afterwards, the dandruff should be gone for good. Although, it can come back and when it does use the medicated shampoo again. There is no such thing as perfect but you can even the odds.

Avoid Irritating Hair Products

Certain hair products cause your skin to irritate. Hair dye, bleach, detergents, and artificial fragrances tend to make your hair more itchy. This makes the no scratching hair for too long rule hard to follow. You get? Not everyone notices the reactions from these products. It takes longer for some to feel them. Change your routine if you use these products to wash your hair. The dandruff will only get worse if you continue to use them.

Manage Your Day to Day Stress

Probably never heard this, reduce stress to make your dandruff go away. Stress is sneaky because it causes things you don’t realize easily. One thing it causes is a weaker immune system. You need your stress to be managed daily. Do things to make it less of a problem. Try not to think of certain things. Try not to smoke in early hours of the day to make you less paranoid about your surroundings. Avoid people who cause you more emotional pain then needed. In time, your immune system will go up and you will have less dandruff.

Stress is also a problem in deciding how to take care of your hair. When you are stressed, you tend to make the wrong decisions. Try to but things when your mind is clear and stress free. Then, you will be able to buy the products you really need and not feel guilty about it.

Make the Dry Skin Under Your Beard Go Away By Moisturizing

To be completely honest, no one wants dry skin under their beard. Its a real drag. People will not notice it from afar. But, when they get really close to the face, they will be able to see everything that you don’t want them to see. They will see the flakes, red marks, and scratchy things that make you look a little like a bum. To avoid, use the best moisturizer for beard from the closest store. Getting rid of that thing is a real deal. You should take care of it you know. Learn more about this below.

Why Do I Have Dry Skin Under Beard

When you go to sleep, the face gets moisture stuck in the beard. Normally, the beard absorbs sleep moisture. Under certain circumstances such as stress, the beard tends to absorb too much moisture and it get stuck as a result. Meaning, the flakes on your beard appear that can cause irritations. You got to make sure you stay away from things that stress you out. Go for a walk sometimes. Listen to a different genre of music. Do things that give you a measure of peace to make that beard less of a flaky issue.

If you are unable to do this because of the circumstances, you can use the best moisturizer for beard or regular moisturizer to wash up under your chin. We understand you can’t get rid of stress because of the life your dealing with now. Whatever you got to deal with, you got to make the best of it and try to do better with it.

The Sun is another reason you might have dry skin under your beard. Sun rays tend to burn your face which will cause the face to become flaky. Avoid spending long times in the hot Sun to have a cleaner face naturally. Spend more time in the shade when you head outside. Hide in the shadows and avoid big open areas for hours. Do this, you should have a cleaner beard and a less itchy one.

How Do I Moisturize Dry Skin Under Beard

Washing your beard is simple. Put in some beard oil and water. That should be enough to wash your beard fully. You can use regular soap to wash your beard. But, I have to warn you about doing that. It causes you to not be able to wash the skin under the beard hair. The beard hair tends to soak up the soap and water before it hits the skin. The skin might be irritated and flaky.

Using beard oil will help your beard hair get smoother. The hair strands will get smoother and stronger. Every time you shave or trim, the hair will align with the razor. More so, when you just use the shaving cream to do it. The razor will cut through the hair with a quicker pace. Can’t go wrong with beard oil.

Stories

Story 1

Once upon a time 4 cars were driving along when suddenly they ran out of fuel. They all ran out of fuel at once, so their engines whent “Put put put put thrrrrrrrp”.

“Oh no, what will we do?” said the cars to each other. Then along came a satellite which squirted fuel into the cars, refilling their tanks. They drove on happily.

Story 2

Once upon a time 4 cars were driving along when suddenly all their tyres popped. Yes all popped. At once. (?) They also all flipped over for reasons I don’t understand. As they flipped they said “AAAAAAAAH!” in a high-pitched voice.

“Oh no, what will we do?” said the cars to each other. Then along came a satellite, which had a tractor beam on it to help flip the cars back over. WHUM WHUM WHUM went the tractor beam as it picked up the cars one by one and fixed their tires somehow. They drove on happily.

Story 3

Once upon a time 4. No wait, 5 cars (we found the blue one) were driving along when they fell into the water, probably due to gross driver error. “AAAAAARGH SPLASH!” they went as they fell down the steep cliff into the depths below.

“BLUB BBLBLBLB BLRRRR?” said the cars to each other (which is “Oh no, what will we do?” underwater). Then along came a satellite, which had a tractor beam on it. WHUM WHUM WHUM went the tractor beam, and it lifted the cars out of the water one by one and put them back on the road.

Story 4

Once upon a time 5 cars somehow had all their wheels fall off at once.

Satellite. Tractor boom.

Story 5

Once upon a time 5 cars got stuck in the mud. No wait, it was 3 kinds of mind. What? Brown and Green and Blue mud? What does that even mean? Does this happen all at the same time or is it going to be 3 stories in a row?

3 IN A ROW?

Right I’m pulling the plug. No I won’t use the satellite tractor beam to pull the plug.

Come on.

Get out of the bath.

Occasionally my son has particular narrative obsessions. I always feel proud of them because somehow I introduce him to them. I first introduce the plot device of the satellite with a tractor beam to him. It’s been a recurring motif in our stories in the bath for the past couple of weeks. Needles to say I am over it.

The basic pattern is:

Improvise new interesting twist to a story.
Bring joy to your child that makes you feel like you are an amazing parent.
Repeat the next day
Repeat the day after that
Repeat twice the day after the day after that
Repeat at least every 4 hours from that point on.
Repeat 2-3 times in a row.
Repeat without stopping.
Stop suddenly. Until you….
Improvise new and interesting twist to a story
aaaaand….
Repeat the whole cycle.

The worst thing about it is that it’s happened before….

Actually the worst thing about it is that I know (for a fact) it will happen again.

The best thing about it is that I know I’m not the only one.

Imagination: The dark side.

Spooky

“There’s a tapping at the window daddy!”

The ambience is not what you’d expect for that kind of a sentence from a 3 year old. We’re not alone in a dark room at night. The wind isn’t howling and there is no trace of thunder. In fact the weather is fine and calm, it’s daylight and the sun is pouring in through the back door. It is clear that there’s nothing there, but my son wants to hide. And in order to do hiding right, you have to have something to hide from. Right?

“Ahhhh! It’s a SPOOKY!!!! Quick hide daddy!”.

So we hide under a scrap of cloth that’s about the size of a gym towel. Then my son runs off to grab something more substantial and we hide under a throw. It lasts as long as it takes for him to get bored or forget what we were doing. I have no idea how long that is. Not long enough for it to get too tedious, but not so short that it escaped my notice.
.
.
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“DAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”

A scream in the night.

Not a call. Not a declamation. Not a summons. Not a whisper. Just a scream. He is screaming. Again.

My eyes snap open, but my awareness lags a few seconds behind. I stir. I rise. I sigh as I swing my legs around and get them to the ground. I walk my way from our room to his to see what, if anything, he needs.

By the time I get there the outburst has stopped. It’s usually one or two cries out for me,  and then just a whimpering. I go to him. I sit on his bedside and place a hand on him. His head, his hand or his chest. “It’s alright Lad, daddy’s right here” I say calmly, masking my own concern that this is happening most nights at the moment. I check for the usual issues, water, discomfort or a need to go to the toilet. I get no answer. I sit a while. And return to bed.

Some nights his eyes aren’t even open. Some nights he settles. Some nights it happens again, and he ends up in bed with us, clutching on to me as I clutch him, his head resting on my armpit.

I don’t know why my son is scared sometimes. I don’t think he could tell me if I asked. It could be beyond words, it  could be beyond his words and it could be a concept from beyond his vocabulary. Nonetheless, he is scared.

 

Fear can be fun. I remember my first experience of abseiling, it was exhilarating. Every sense was on a higher exposure; more intense and sharper. The air tasted stronger, my eyes saw brighter colours, I could hear my heart pounding and some how even the rock I pressed my feet against felt more real. It was like the world was in HD, but not just visually – every sense was on some kind of increased resolution.

When I reached the bottom I was shaking, my feet had to re-adjust to the mundane, my senses had to recover from their heightened state and my mind continued to race. I’ve felt that feeling a few times in my life while high up on rocks, when walking out on stage or – some days – even when hitting “publish” on a blog post. I’ve written about my experience with fear before.

But, what about his fear? His brain sparking, growing and changing at a rate that makes  the grey matter between my ears look sluggish and obsolete. His imagination that is more visceral, more vivid and more intense than anything I can remember. His fear, which cannot distinguish between the real world and his own world. Which cannot differentiate between the power and paralysis. His fear which, in the dark when he is alone, clutches at him, icy fingers squeezing him tighter and tighter as he realises how small he is.

How do you deal with that? I honestly don’t know what to do.

I know what I don’t want to do.

I don’t want to dismiss it. I don’t want to tell him that he needs to “be brave” or that he’s scared over nothing. I don’t want him to feel bad for feeling fear, and I don’t want him to stifle it in my presence. I don’t want him to feel afraid of being afraid. We all feel fear sometimes.

I don’t want to feed his fear. I don’t want to make it worse or remind him of the things that make him scared. I don’t want to make the monsters bigger and bolder. I don’t want to stop playing monsters with him. I don’t want him to forget those times fear gets the heart pumping and that makes the hairs stand on end. I don’t want the fear to go away. I don’t want it to cripple him. I don’t want to ignore it, think it’s a phase and find out too late that there is an issue – much as I’m sure there isn’t at this stage. I don’t want him to lose that wonderful bubbling cauldron of imagination in his head. Sure he’d be less frightened, but he’d also be less in so many other ways. I don’t want to try to explain everything away.

What I do want to do is be there. Hold him, cuddle him, whisper to him that it’s okay. It’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to need mummy or daddy just because you’re scared. I want him to feel that everything will be alright. I want him to know we are there.

I want to know that’s enough.

But you can’t have everything.

The question…. advice for a new dad

Today I visited friends who had just had a baby. I was given the customary hold. I also had The Lass to hold on to and keep calm. The Lad was being handled by my mum, so only having the 9 week old to worry about felt like I was on holiday.

The new dad, who was either fantastically Zen and serene or completely exhausted and emotionally drained turned to me and asked the question.

“So, any advice for a new dad?”

There they were. I had seen them coming around the corner. High beams. Right in my eyes. Holding me transfixed and gibbering. Given I blog about fatherhood this shouldn’t have had quite such a profound effect on me, but it did. Shooting off rambles into cyberspace is one thing, responding to a query from a new dad who’s eyes were thirsting for wisdom is entirely different.

So I sputtered out some inane crap. I thought I’d write a post about it so I was better equipped to deal with it next time because, as The Mamanator pointed out, I am the father of 2 children including a 2 year old. Therefore I hold the mantle of assumed expert in the dark ringed eyes of a new dad.

What I am posting is about stuff that surprised me. I had read some books, looked over hospital information and attended birth classes. I thought I had equipped myself with lots of information and was well forewarned and forearmed for fatherhood. And for the most part, I was. But I was not ready for everything…

So here’s the advice I would have given….

All children are different, when someone tells you some super tactic that is a sure fire way to get them to sleep, stop crying or whatever, take it with a grain of salt. I made that discovery for myself when we had number two. This limits the usefulness of any advice you will get.

Fatherhood doesn’t stop. Ever. I mean of course it doesn’t. That just makes sense, right? Yeah. The implications of that hit you later when you have been doing it for a while. Seriously it never stops. Even when you’re at work. Even if you’re away from your family for some reason. Even if you have a baby sitter or a grandparent looking after them. Even when they’re forty. It. Never. Stops.

You will at some stage bump your baby’s head into something.
The car door, a table, a railing, a wall or a door frame will sneak up on you. You will probably want to curl up into a ball, rock back and forth and cry. But you’ll be fine.

You will get something wrong and become totally averse to doing that task for a while. For me it was two things, fingernails and baths. I cut my boys thumb once when I was cutting his nails. Took me weeks to have another go at it, and baby nails grow back really really fast. First time I tried to bathe him when he was little I was so nervous I didn’t hold him right and he cried and cried. So I red carded myself in that activity for a while too….

Never take a nappy away before you have another nappy in place. NEVER EVER.

If your missus is feeding the baby, grab her a glass of water before she asks. Earns many brownie points. Also, breastfeeding women eat a great deal, be ready for it.

Finally, you may feel like little more than a couch or a bed for your baby in the first few weeks. Maybe you’ll be a swingy thing too. Don’t worry if its feels boring sometimes. But be the best damn couch you can be. It changes quickly anyway…

So that’s my little list. Use it new fathers! May it bring you solace in the times ahead.

Anything you would add to the list? What surprised you about the experience?

Keeping it cool

Toddlers. They’ve been compared to lots of things: drunken friends, old people, pets and plenty more. They have little to know control of their impulses, are generally clumsy, have a great deal of problem concentrating and don’t always hear/listen to you when you give them simple requests. It can make life frustrating. I thought I’d share some of the things I do to try and keep my cool with The Lad through the days I’m in charge of him. At least I can share some stories with the rest of you that might show you that we all have our moments.

First off:

I have yelled at my son. My reasons are many and varied: he’s about to touch the hot oven, he’s about to eat something he really shouldn’t be putting in his mouth, his rough and tumble play has hit me in me bits or he’s bout to throw a shoe in the general direction of his sister (he actually did this the other day). Sometimes it’s just out of exasperation. Having finally cleaned down the high chair, or having finally settled/changed the baby I find The Lad trying to build sand castles out of cat litter in the bathroom. So, I yell. I don’t do it often, I don’t do it too loudly and I never mean to, but I do. Feels good to get that off my chest.

Second off:

I am many many miles from perfect. I often ignore my own advice. It’s also worth noting that whatever The Lad’s gotten his hands on or gotten himself into it takes a special kind of adult to leave it out for him to pick up and/or throw around. That special adult is usually me…. I wish I was more organised and less absent-minded sometimes, but I am not. My sleep is usually interrupted, this might have something to do with it….

So, when it all goes down how does The Dadinator cope? Sometimes he doesn’t, but he tries his best. Sometimes he starts to talk about himself in the third person. And then he stops. Here are some of what I do and why I do it:

1.) The problem is the behaviour not the child

This comes from some of the stuff I learned while doing teaching. Saying “You’re bad” or “You’re naughty” is useless, instead focus on the behaviour not the child, and tell them what you want them to do. In a situation with a toddler they won’t necessarily understand you, but that’s not their fault. The behaviour is probably not their fault, they don’t know their head from their bums most of the time.

Sure I get sick of saying “Food is for eating, not throwing”. I get sick of saying “We don’t throw shoes”. I get sick of saying “Give me that now thank you!”. But I do it. I try to be persistent and persevere, and we get there. Well I think we do.

2.) Keep your cool

I confessed that I have yelled at The Lad over the years. It never feels good, and it never achieves anything much. In fact, when you yell at a kid, you just stress them out. Interesting when you go into a ‘stress response’ in your brain, the hippocampus (short term memory centre) shuts down. That stops the kid remembering much of what happens, and it certainly stops them from learning anything out of the situation. It’s best avoided. Although we all slip up. Kid’s also learn from the example you set more than from the words you say, so keep that in mind.

3.) Don’t talk at a child that isn’t even looking at you.

I’ve caught myself doing this. I realised that if I say “Put that down” and The Lad isn’t even looking at me. Funnily enough he doesn’t do what I ask. Take a second to get the kids attention before you tell them to do something. It saves you time and effort, plus it also ensures your message actually gets through.

4.) Get the child to help fix the situation

The Mamanator is much better at this than me… If a child throws something on the ground, get them to pick it up. If they spill water, get them to help mop it up. I sometimes just want to shortcut this process and do it myself. Even at my level of domestic ineptitude I can clean up a spilled puddle of water, or gather up sultanas faster than The Lad can at the tender age of 2. I am working on it though, and The Lad frequently impresses me with his ability to help. Sure things take a little longer, but It’s worth the wait.

5.) Don’t hold a grudge

Kids will make mistakes, test boundaries and form annoying habits. It’s their nature. It isn’t personal, don’t take it as such. Do your utmost to move on. I guarantee the little one will do so very very fast.

6.) Catch your breath

We’re trying to encourage The Lad to breath deeply when he’s worked up. We do this by holding him close and taking deep breaths, he picks up the rhythm and joins in. Sometimes I need to take some deep breaths myself before going in to talk to him about how his food doesn’t go on the floor. It is one of the most basic ways of lowering your heart rate and calming yourself down. So take the chance to do so, it does make a difference.

So, I hope there’s some help in there, as I mentioned I don’t always follow my own advice, but I do my best. I’m sure you all do to.

A birthday poem.

The Mamanator is 30 today. So I wrote her a sonnet. Its not very good, but here it is.

Today The Mamanator turns thirty
She finds herself with two kids and a bloke,
The kids keep finding ways to get dirty
While his handymanning skills are a joke

She puts up with me and my many quirks
She cares for me and makes me laugh and smile
She’s seen me at my best and at my worst
And yet manages to love me all the while

Your belly grew a little girl and boy.
You gave them life and gave me fatherhood,
Bringing us both great struggles and great joy
And making sure we sleep less than we should.

So happy birthday to my friend and wife.
Mother, lover and partner in my life.

Getting to know you….

Dear Lass,

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Smiles make up for almost everything they put you through….

We’ve known each other for 7 weeks now. I’m not sure what you know me as… Am I the bearded loud one? The fat one? The hairy one? The one I get given to when mum’s had it up to here? The one that doesn’t have milk so what’s the point of him? I suppose that for the purposes of this address I will refer to myself simply as “dad”, it’s what your brother calls me and I’ve gotten quite attached to the term.

You know, I’ve known you for longer than my shortest relationship. Back in uni I went out with a girl for all of a week once, then she called it off. You can’t call it off, you poor thing. Mostly because you can’t talk, making calling anything off difficult, but also because a father-daughter relationship is not really ‘call-off-able’. You’re stuck with me.

First of all I want to say sorry. I’m sorry if I try games/funny faces/noises/particular holds etc…. with you that worked on your brother and you hate them. I honestly can’t help it. Don’t feel too short changed though, for each thing I did that your brother actually enjoyed, there were plenty that he hated too. I once managed to scare him so much with a variation of “peekaboo” that I made him cry. The worst part of that story is that all I could do was burst out laughing.

I’m going to make mistakes, and that some of them will not be enjoyable. I have managed, so far, to avoid connecting your head with door frames, this is an improvement on my first bash at parenting – pun intended. I will also sometimes not know what you want. I will give you to your mum to feed when you want a nappy change, I will try to change your nappy when you want to go to sleep and I will try to rock you to sleep when all you need is a good burp. I will try to burp you when all you want is to be up against my chest. I will try to keep these misunderstandings to a minimum, but my minimum will be greater than zero, it is unavoidable I am afraid. Please forgive me.

I am also trying my hardest to get used to you as, I am sure, you are doing exactly the same thing with me. I know you like to look at things, especially lights and colourful things. I know you like exploring “near and far”. I know you like to grip things in your tiny hands (which grip like pincers by the way). I know you like to be upright most of the time. I know you like the view of the world from up high. I know you find your brother fascinating. I know you like to be held against a chest, and you like to be kept warm.

I know you don’t like dirty nappies, you’re a bit fussy in that regard. This is taking some getting used to for me, your brother didn’t give a crap – pun intended – leaving me a bit slow on the uptake. Ironically I know you don’t like nappy changes either, maybe it because you don’t like things getting too breezy downstairs. I know you don’t like the cold, very different to me.

Of course likes and dislikes is only part of the picture. There’s much we have to learn about each other, it’s part of the adventure.
I’ll try to make it as fun as possible. I’ll try to make sure you know you are loved and you can count on your dad. I’ll also try to make sure your brother doesn’t body slam you or sit on your face… too much….

So, with all that in mind, I want to say thanks. Thanks for the chance to raise you and to get to know you. Thanks for the smiles you give me every so often. Thanks for the chance to hold you and watch you as you sleep on my arms. Thanks for the chance to love you.

Yours,
Dad.

Toddler Tedium.

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“New Mask”

“Yes, lad, that’s a new mask we put it out yesterday”

“New Mask!”

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The “New Mask” – which we received as a wedding present back in 2010

“Yes, that’s the new mask”

The meal continues. Vegetables are rejected, then eaten and then…

“New Mask!”

“Yes, Lad”.

There’s a fair bit of repetition involved in parenting. I think it’s something that often gets glossed over in descriptions of the job. This little scenario has been going on for 3 days now, and woe betide any who fails to acknowledge the “New Mask” when it is pointed out. I have no idea when it will stop being “new”. I also have no idea when he will have an understanding of what a ‘mask’ is and what it’s for….

There’s a fair bit of repetition involved in parenting. I think it’s something that often gets glossed over in descriptions of the job. The little scenario has been going on for 3 days now, and woe betide any who fails to acknowledge the “New Mask” when it is pointed out. I have no idea when it will stop being “new”. I also have no idea when he will have an understanding of what a ‘mask’ is and what it’s for….

(See what I did there hee hee hee)

People tend to harp on about change and development and how kids grow up so fast, (I did it myself) but some days, well,  you do get a strong sense that you’ve done it all before. Probably yesterday. Possibly just a couple of hours ago. That is not to say you never see new, it happens frequently, it’s just that the new stuff (such as the new mask…) becomes old pretty fast, and seems to hang around until it gets displaced by something else. Which then gets repeated ad nauseam .

I don’t know why toddlers keep on doing the same thing again and again. They press buttons on toys that make the same noise over and over again. They play games over and over again. They say the same things over and over again. It’s probably part of how they learn and how they test the world around them. Or maybe it’s some kind of re-assurance for them, providing anchors in a world that must at times seem scary.

In the example above, Toddler logic says “I see the mask, when I see the mask I say New Mask, then mum or dad says “New Mask” back, and all is well”. It’s like pressing a button that makes an annoying noise on a toy. In some way it’s entertaining.

The real downside of this is that sometimes it all becomes a game.

This is our oven. To you and me, gentle reader, it is an oven. Designed to cook food and make it delicious.

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To a Toddler it looks like this:

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A toy, replete with buttons to be pushed, knobs to be turned and things to play with. I find The Lad has an almost irresistible urge to push/turn/pull any, and I mean ANY button/knob/lever/switch he finds in visual range. It happens with light switches. It happens with the BBQ. It happens with the dishwasher. It happens with his own toys. It happens with the computer if he gets to it.

He also throws things. ALL THE TIME. If it is small enough to be thrown he seems to have an irresistible urge to test his arm out on it. The number of times I have said “….. is not for throwing” (“…..” could be: shoes, food, plates, blocks, books, rubber ducks, trains….) is quite mind boggling given that he hasn’t been able to throw for all that long.

And then there’s the bath water. Blech… He drinks it all the time. I have told him not to so many times. I have said “that’s not for drinking”, “That’s Yucky” and more recently simply “Spit it out!” (which he loves doing), and yet it keeps on going.

I suppose he’s going to keep on testing the world around him for a while yet, and his capacity to do it will only expand as he grows and his capabilities continue to expand. I just hope I have the patience to put up with it, and to take joy in all the new stuff he is learning to do. And then doing it again. And again. And again.

Have other parents experienced this out there? Love to hear I’m not the only one.

Conversations.

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So I was talking to the Lad as I changed his nappy today. What? Some of our best conversations take place on the change table. Anyway I was telling him that this is one of the few phases in his life where he is going to get this kind of service, as I wiped him clean. If he was ever going to get it again, I imagined it would likely be when he was very old, and I probably wouldn’t be there to do it for him anymore. I would most probably be dead.

Then I had to stop for a moment not only because I had to take the liner from the nappy over to the toilet to flush away, but also because the reality of the sentence I just said so flippantly hit me like a falling cartoon piano. I had temporarily stunned myself into silence.

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Mortality is a touchy subject for us mortals. I find it interesting that parents are supposed to fret over ”the conversation” (in BIG inverted commas), that one about where babies come from and sex and all that. Sitcoms tell us it’s hard, and that it’s one of the scariest moments in parenting so it must be true. Right?.

Personally I’m fine with that conversation. That’s a biological process which can be explained with metaphor or a nice allegory if needs be. Alternatively you can stick to the facts and talk about sperm and eggs and all that. It doesn’t worry me all that much, whatever floats your boat. I know how it works.

What scares the pants of me is the conversation about the other end of existence. What happens when we die? Now that’s some scary s***. Its a also something where my beliefs are not likely to be, shall we say, comforting to a toddler. It also sits uneasily with me because I don’t know what happens, and to pretend otherwise feels inauthentic while saying “some people believe blah…. Others believe bleh….” Sounds like a whussy copout that won’t sate the young ones thirst for knowledge at all.

Maybe I just think too much… It remains very likely that all my thinking will come to nought when its time to actually talk about it. Its also likely that we’ll have this conversation briefly and The Lad will simply nod and say “alright Daddy.” And move on without giving it any more thought, impervious to the existentialist crises that plague us older folk. And i’ll be left to contemplate the limits in my own existence, and the fact that my days are numbered.

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